Misconceptions and Stigmas, Part 1

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K. Rowling

“Don’t judge me by my past, I don’t live there anymore.” – Anonymous

Now that we have covered the science, welcome to the first discussion topic of this blog. I would like to present my thoughts on various topics related to addiction to start a discussion. I would like to hear your thoughts and I hope that these topics will spur on conversations with your friends and family. Today’s topic is “Misconceptions and Stigmas Part 1”.

They Just Want to Get High. I Have Responsibilities.

This statement is probably one of the most offensive statements that I have heard regarding addicts. It manages to reveal both the ignorance and the self-righteousness of the speaker in just nine words. They just want to get high shows that this person does not understand what addiction does. The underlying thought here is that addicts are just enjoying themselves and doing what they want. I cannot speak from my own knowledge but from listening to addicts, I don’t believe that using is what they want to do because it is fun. It is what they need to do to avoid withdrawal and because their brain is using every resource it has to drive them to use what they (think they) need to survive. I have heard addicts say, “I am so tired. I just want to stop.” That doesn’t sound like someone having fun to me.

It is the self-righteousness that gets under my skin the most. I can deal with ignorance. You can learn and not be ignorant about the topic anymore. Self-righteousness, though, stands in the way of learning, of understanding, of empathy. “I have responsibilities” says I would like to have fun but I am not weak-minded like you. I do what needs to be done because I am upright and moral. The addict is doing what needs to be done also. It is just that the addict’s brain has been altered to believe that using is what needs to be done. Go back and reread the science, once addiction has set in, this is a physical change not a character issue.

Narcan Is a Waste of My Tax Dollars, They Will Just Use Again

This one hits close to home for me, but I also understand because I would rather pay less taxes, too. It hits close to home because in January 2017 we found our son overdosed in our family room and he was revived using Narcan. He had been in recovery and had relapsed. We were unaware of this. We got him immediately back into rehab and he got back to work on his AA steps and meetings. He was doing so well. We were so proud. He was a terrific young man. Six months later he relapsed. He was alone this time and we lost him. Without Narcan and Bart Fire Company QRS, we would not have had those six months and we would not have seen the man he could become. In his eulogy, I spoke of his greatness. Greatness that we saw so much of during those six months. If you don’t think that Narcan is worth it, come talk to me about my son.

It is true that addicts frequently use not long after they have been revived with Narcan. This makes no sense to us because we cannot understand the way that their brain is functioning. You just died and were brought back, and you are going to return to the thing that killed you? Try thinking about it this way. You are starving to death, literally. You found some food, ate it and it turned out to be spoiled. You got very sick and nearly died. If the only food that you could get might also be spoiled, would you eat it? Of course you would, you are starving to death. You will die without it. This is how the addict’s brain views the drug. Their brain knows, that they need the drug to survive. Their brain is wrong, but what your brain believes is your reality..right or wrong.

Narcan Makes Addicts Feel Safe to Use Again

There may be a kernel of truth to this misconception. Of course, knowing that you can be revived makes you feel safer but addicts are generally not considering that they may die when they are using. When an addict is being driven to use, that is the entire focus of the brain. At that moment, they are not thinking of any of the potential impacts of what they are about to do. They are focused on getting what they need. When they have gotten their fix, when the need to use has been satiated, they may consider the potential impacts of what they have done. But when their brain is once again screaming that they must use, nothing else matters, not even death.

Three Strikes, You’re Out! They Are Probably Just Committing Suicide

This is a concept that I have heard floated and I think it comes from those that want to be compassionate but don’t quite understand how addiction works. There is a frustration that comes from not understanding how someone can keep doing things that kill them. I don’t think that we can ever fully understand that, but it is one of the reasons that I feel so strongly about educating everyone. Perhaps in some instances, an addict has had enough, and they have tried to check out. I don’t, however, believe that someone who has been revived with Narcan has tried to end their life. Addicts are quite resourceful, and creative about hiding what they are doing. If an addict wants to die, they will succeed. They know what will kill them and they know how to hide it.

Addicts overdose because they need to hit an ever-narrowing window between satisfying their need and death. As their tolerance builds, the distance between high and dead keeps getting smaller. Not only that, but they are using something with varying potency to try to hit that window. There is no FDA standard for heroin. Going back to the starvation analogy, if it might kill you but you will starve without it, you’ll eat it.

Please don’t think that I am making excuses. I believe that to succeed in recovery, an addict must accept what they have done. BUT

• Addicts do not choose to continue to use, they need to use.
• Willpower will not get an addict to stop because all of the willpower that they have to stop is also being used against them by their altered brain, to protect their addiction. Likewise, there is no threat that can be used to make an addict seek help.
• If you are not an addict, congratulations you got lucky. You don’t get to look down on addicts because you were born into a healthy environment and you won in genetic roulette.
• Addicts can succeed in managing their addiction but it requires help, support, understanding, and lots of time.

Do you have thoughts or experiences to share? Please comment, let’s work together and help each other to understand this problem.

I hope that you will join me next week for a discussion of “Who’s to Blame?”.