“Angel of darkness is upon you, Stuck a needle in your arm, So take another toke, have a blow for your nose, One more drink, fool, will drown you.” – Lynyrd Skynyrd, That Smell
I am back to posting on schedule, but I am going to change the schedule to posting every other Monday morning. I decided that this post will be about song lyrics that shed light on the dark side of addiction. I wanted this to be a little lighter since my last post was pretty difficult for me to write. If you look up songs about drug use, you will find many. Some glorify drugs, some require a lot of interpretation and many if they don’t glorify drugs, they don’t add much to the conversation, such as Neil Young’s “The Needle and the Damage Done” or Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Needle and the Spoon”. I have chosen two songs that I find very relatable and insightful. Please join me in today’s topic “Song Lyrics – Insight into Addiction”.
She Talks to Angels
Even songs that do not glorify drug use tend to sound like drug use is pleasant or cool until you look deeper. One such song that really covers many aspects of addiction is “She Talks to Angels” by The Black Crowes. The song is about heroin use and the expression “talks to angels” sounds both fitting and pleasant. Who wouldn’t want to talk to angels? But the expression is actually acknowledging that when high on heroin, you are very close to death, close enough to talk to the angels. Unlike many songs about drug use, this song announces its subject from the start, “She never mentions the word addiction in certain company”. You might also consider that this speaks to the stigma of addiction. Let’s look at some other quotes:
“Yes, she’ll tell you she’s and orphan, after you meet her family” – This clearly speaks to the alienation that comes with ongoing drug abuse as your friends and family pull back to protect themselves. Watching someone you love destroy themselves is exceedingly difficult, not to mention the unethical behavior that tends to accompany active addiction. She has family, yet she is orphaned.
I remember when our son was in high school, he knew a young man in his grade that was heavily abusing drugs. Our son was appalled that this young man’s parents chose to kick him out of their house when he was still in high school. I explained that he had younger siblings and his parents probably figured that if he would not change, they should at least protect their younger children. He understood somewhat but what we didn’t realize was that he was appalled/scared because he was headed down the same path.
“Oh yeah, there’s a smile when the pain comes. Pain’s gonna make everything alright, alright yeah ” – To those that are not familiar or are younger, this statement might sound cool at first, like you are tough if you use. That is not what it is saying. What this statement is pointing out is that the conditioning of addiction is so strong that the pain of the needle and the burn of the drug bring a smile because she is conditioned that the high comes next. She is controlled by the drug (the addicted part of her brain) such that this particular pain is pleasant.
“And the cross from someone she has not met, well, not yet” – This statement is obviously saying that she has not met Jesus/God, yet. This is open to some interpretation but my first thought is that she has not met Jesus/God yet because she has not died yet. But she is close, “she talks to angels, says they all know her name”. Another thought that occurred to me requires an even deeper understanding of addiction and recovery. Most 12 step programs, AA being the model, stress spirituality and turning your life over to a higher power. They refer to God as you perceive Him or as he reveals Himself to you. Perhaps the song is saying that she has not met Jesus/God because she has not seriously undertaken recovery. For many addicts, they will meet God (as they perceive Him) either when they get serious about recovery or when they die. Or in the case of our son, he did the first and the second happened anyway.
“She don’t know no lover, None that I ever seen. Yeah, to her that ain’t nothing but to me it means, means everything.” – This line chokes me up every time I hear it because it cuts so close. This line is highlighting the fact that addiction alters your brain such that the most important thing in your life is getting your next fix. “She don’t know no lover” because she has no room for anything but the drug and “to her that ain’t nothing” because her brain is so twisted that she sees nothing wrong with that. To the singer, however, “it means everything” because he understands her empty life. My son was an alcoholic by about the time he hit high school and was using heroin by the start of his senior year. He never knew the joy of falling in love because his brain was preoccupied with his addictions. As parents, the knowledge that our son died without ever experiencing falling in love causes us great pain.
Angel by Sarah McLachlan
Angel by Sarah McLachlan is a beautiful performed, wonderful song that the ASPCA is doing its best to ruin with their commercials. I know she chose to allow it because she values their work, but must I hear it so often with pitiful scenes of neglected and abused animals. Reminds me of the end of A Clockwork Orange, but I digress. Even if you don’t know the underlying meaning of this song, it is very touching. Sarah revealed in an interview that she wrote the song for or about the drummer from Smashing Pumpkins who died of a heroin overdose while on tour. She said that she didn’t use drugs but could relate to the feeling of loneliness on the road, the pressures of the music business and the need for escape.
This song is not as quotable as She Talks to Angels, but it captures the mood and feelings of inadequacy that I suspect haunts many addicts. The song sets this tone clearly from the start:
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard, at the end of the day
And continues later in the song with:
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
Sarah’s incredible voice and the stripped-down performance, just piano, bass, and her voice, reinforces those feelings. Lines like “Memories seep from my veins” give you some indication that this is about heroin. To me, the underlying theme in the song that relates most to addicts is the need to escape the pain that drove them to use in the first place.
From about the time that I was in junior high, I always wished for serenity and I felt a very strong connection to the Serenity Prayer. I learned from my son that the Serenity Prayer plays a big role in AA and recovery. I think that this search for peace and serenity, by escaping the things that plague them, plays a big part in most addict’s lives. The song hits on this thought many times with lines like:
“I need some distraction, Oh, beautiful release”;
“And the endlessness that you fear”;
“Escape one last time. It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness. Oh, this glorious sadness”
All of the feelings of inadequacy, emptiness and the need to escape them culminate in the end of the song with, “You’re in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here”. Perhaps the comfort in the arms of the angels is like talking to angels in The Black Crowes’ song but given the motivation for the song, I suspect you are in the arms of the angels when you die. I hope that Nate and all those that lost their battle with addiction find some comfort there.
I guess that I didn’t do a very good job of keeping this light. Do you have thoughts, songs, or experiences to share? Please comment, let’s work together and help each other to understand this problem.
I hope that you will join me in 2 weeks for a discussion of “Misconceptions, Stigmas Part 2?”.